It is "my way or the highway?" Do you blow small things out of proportion, and make decisions to end a relationship when you are upset? If you do, then you are seeing things in black and white. Try instead to recognize that we all feel different emotions at the same time. Learn to relax and take things in stride. There are big benefits to staying calm and realizing there are two sides to every coin.

It is very common to feel conflicting emotions. You want to stay with him and you want to break up. You feel joy, and at the same time you feel sadness that something is missing. It is a sign of emotional maturity to recognize that you can have opposite feelings and emotions at the same time! Try this exercise: notice how often you have different feelings at the same time, and learn to go with the flow.

Life is not black and white; it is shades of gray. It's amazing how many times we feel two sides of the coin at once! When someone cuts you off in traffic, you feel both mad and grateful to let him pass. When your guy acts up, you are irritated but you can think it's cute and want to laugh. Once you recognize how common it is to feel opposite emotions at the same time, it becomes easier to let things go and not make a federal case over small slights or disagreements.

This realization helps keep you emotionally even-tempered and makes you a "cool" girl. You become fun to be with. You become he kind of girlfriend and friend that guys and girls are drawn to. The next time you feel like being a drama queen and acting up over something that happens, relax and let the opposite feeling overtake you. Let drama pass you by. You will be happier and stay sane when you live in a world full of shades of gray, not just black and white! -- Kerry L. Gray,